I know it’s Ramadan and you should give people patience and forgiveness but there’s only so much a person can take. I am of course talking about that beauty place (which shall be known as Boorish & Incompetence from now on and does NOT reside at 17a Oldham Rd) which I frequent every now and again to tame my eyebrows. Oh yes people, this is a rant. Strap yourselves in for a ride as I bitch my heart out.
Setting the scene: I started a new job on Monday which involves leaving the house at 6:45am. I do this Mon-Fri and am still at my Saturday job which is usually 9 till 3. It was however sale day on the Saturday in question so I was in at work at 7. So this is my first week doing 6 days a week with little sleep. I’d been fine all week until the Saturday at 9:18am when things started to go pear shaped. It was only a customers receipt that didn’t print out properly but it was the start of little bad things to ruin your day and make you mutter under your breath in a harassed manner. Along with this every day I go to work I get hit with the fact that this isn’t where I want to be. I don’t mean to sound like a victim but every day at work just keeps knocking it into my head, that I’m not good enough to be where I want to be and it just sucks. 6 days of it.
End of work: I’m tired, I’m hungry, my head hurts, my eyes itch, my lower stomach (intestines?) hurts, my back hurts, I’m depressed and I know I have an appointment at B&E (I know it’s B&I but lets call it B&E…just for the fun of it) to look forward to. Last time I had to wait 20mins till i was seen (I was 10mins early for my appointment so I gave them that, I still had to wait 20mins AFTER my appointment had passed until I was seen) and it’s Eid soon so I knew it’d be busy. Fun fun. Fun fun.
Get there. I’m 5mins early. See a friends sis gettin her hair done and have a chat. I’m in a good mood but I’m tired. Go up and theres no seats but someone gets up and squishes onto a chair with their friend to make room for me. Good times.
Lady pops out of beauty room and says to me you’re next. I should have sensed something was up when I noticed a) the mobile in her hand b) she told me to come in when her client was still in the room and c) she wasn’t the person I’d made my apointment with. Now you may be forgiven for thinking why would you even contemplate going with her when you made your appointment with someone else? Well, this is B&E where this happens all the time. You make your appointment with person X only to be told on the day that person X 
isn’t in/ is ill/ is unavailable/ is with her mother who has tooth ache/ is jet ski-ing in the Bahamas whilst holidaying on Roman Abramovich’s yaucht /etc /etc and so you are offerred person Y who you’ve never seen before but you’ll thrust your eyebrows into their care and be expected to cough up £4.50 for the experience. Anyhoos I feel I’m being unfair to the others who were waiting before me and say I was here last, these others were here before me. She responds by going to the stairs and asking the receptionist (from the stairs over the bannister) a question, asks me my name which seems to confirm smething and tells me to go into the vacated room. When I’m in the room I start to have doubts, I made my appointment with person X, I should really just wait for them. She comes into the room (whilst texting/scrolling through her phone) and I say my apointments actually with person X. She says you wana wait? Me thinking I’m dying for a wee I haven’t had one since 6:15 in the morning and who knows how long I’ll be waiting decides to say ‘no it’s ok you do it, i trust you you strange unknown entity’. Took me bag & specs off, moved hijab back a little, lay down and closed my eyes waiting to enjoy what I knew would be a most pleasurable experience.
I remembered I had to tell this strange woman how I wanted my eyebrows.
Me: I don’t like my eyebrows too thin, just keep to the natural shape please.
Her: I don’t speak English.
Me (thinking you understood me perfectly fine a minute ago when I told you you weren’t the person I made my appointment with): Erm, natural shape? No breek eyebrow, mota eyebrow, Natural shape.
Her: Arch?
Me: Natural shape. Follow kar.
About 15seconds later she says something in Urdu. Gee? I ask.
Her: Bowl (as in talk).
Me: Erm….gee?
Her: Mumble mumble (she must be asking me where I work)
Me: Says it.
Her: Oh boowwlllll.
Me: Sorry…gee?
Her: Mumble mumble (she must be asking how old I am)
Me: 21
Her: Whats yours favourite colour?
Me *silence, this is awkwarrrddddd*
Her: Oh whats your favouritee colloouurrrrrrr
Me (this is the strangest conversation ever): …Erm ok it’s pur…
Her: Is it blue? Is your favourite colour blue? I’m sure it is I know it is. Someone told me it was blue
Me: Erm are you talking to me?
As I open my eyes I see that shes ON THE PHONE. Not only is she on the phone but she has been on the phone the entire time shes been threading my eyebrows. And then I hear it. Now I know the 50 reasons and I really should apply them here. She could be talking to an old friend. She could be talking to a cousin. She could be talking to her husband. She could be talking to an uncle. Or as I most likely suspect, she’s flirting with some guy because you don’t use that sickly inspeid tone when you’re talking to your dads neighbours mates cousin (…unless thats the guys shes flirting with) and I lie there like a fool. I wanted to storm out. Stomp down into reception in a huff and demand some kind of order, respect and service. In reality all I can think about is composing a very angry letter (slash blog post) in my head. Now to add insult to the injury, my eyes start watering (as they always do) and at this point I usually get a comment along the lines of ‘oh your eyes are watering are you ok? Hehe I’ve never met anyones whose eyes water as much as yours. LOL. I’ll get you a tissue.’ Nope not here sister! I continue to hear effing jeffing love blossom over a nokia 6310 whilst i dehydrate quicker than a glass of water in Somalia. It gets to the point where I have to interrupt her conversation and mention that the Ganges has nothing on my right cheek, in order for her to notice. And how does she respond, how does she react to this change in affairs? She uses my hijab to dry my eyes. At that I stopped her with my hand and said get me a tissue. The clown got me a handful of happy shopper 1ply 3x recycled tissue paper sourced from the coarsest tree money can buy. Eyes dry she continues, using her hand to wipe any new tears to form which is something that pisses me off, I hate hands on eyes! It makes them itch! Especially when you shove your index finger into my eye socket! Conversation finshed and phone put away she finshes right eyebrow and instructs me to get up and turn to the wall mirror to see how it is which is a first, I usually get handed a hand mirror. I turn to see myself look like i’ve been stabbed in the eye by a cactus, the eyebrow however looks good.
She moves onto the left one continuing to use her hands as eye wipers, I couldn’t use my tissue coz she kept beatin me to it, damn her! Her phone rang but she either cancelled it or it was a missed call. My thoughts were pumping away mile to the minute and before I knew it it was over and I was once again instructed to look at the mirror to now find i look like I’ve been poked in the eye with two fingers. (Credit where its due, the eyebrows look neat).
I go down and want to demand a discount, I am not paying 4.50 for that, if i wanted to have my eyebrows done with someone not paying attention I’d go to any tom dick or harrys house, 4.50 is expensive on the asian market, you’re supposed to be paying a premium for service, that was not serivce. However the reception was busy and I’m a coward when it comes to complaining (in public anyway, I’m amazing at complaining behind closed doors, on msn, on blogs and the like) so I thought I’d chat with my friends sis for a bit till it quiented down. Although it soothed my mood it sort of made me forget things about my experience and thoughts that had formed and I wanted to remember them for when I complained. When I went over to the desk and she said eyebrows? I chickened out and just said in a low voice
Can I just say the lady was on the phone whilst she treated me?
Receptionist: No? I’ll have word with her
Me *getting abit of courage*: I don’t care if its personal or business you shouldn’t be on the phone whilst you’re seeing to someone. You want their full attention
Receptionst: I’ll have a word with her
Me: I don’t care how new you are I expect a level of professionalism you knOw what i mean? To talk on your phone and it sounded like a personal call that wasn’t even urgent, it’s not right.
Receptionist: No no well like I said I’ll hav a word with her and let her know.
Me: Yeah you know, the last time I came too I had to wait 20 mins
Receptionist: Well its eid..
Me: No last time I came was ages ago and i had an appointment. I don’t care if it’s eid that doesn’t make a difference to the fact she was having a chat whilst she was with me. Oh and another thing here we go. She didn’t even give me a tissue when my eyes watered, she used my scarf.
At this point my voice cracked and the stress and lack of sleep caught up with me. I wanted to just bawl but stopped talking.
Receptionist: Awww she didn’t give you a tissue? Here I’ll get you one
Me: No it’s ok I want to leave please come on (I had a tenner on the desk and motioned for her to take it)
Receptionist: It’s ok this is on the house
Me: Thanks *and quickly exited*.
I gulped a little outside and power walked to the car where I had a good squeeze of my eyes to get excess tears from pain/tiredness out. Windows down and drove the long way home.
Now that’s the end of the story, let me have my rant (and you thought I was finished, huh!). I’ve had it with B&E. I’m sick of it, I’m sick of making appointment with X and getting Y. I’m sick of being on time, nay early for my appointment and being kept waiting without so much as an apology. I’m sick of snide little comments. I’m asking you to thread my eyebrows not morph me into you. I effing hate thin ones and yes you look like you were born with a hedgerow and have pruned and preened yours 
so much you look fake and unnatural no I do not want to look like you. I am sick of paying 4.50 for a service worth much less. I’m sick most of all with an owner who is so much better. She is good at what she does, if she had 5 of herself doing this she would have the best salon. But she hasn’t. Instead she recruits cheap foreign labour who lack the skills and tact needed in the service industry, yabbing away on a phone may be ok elsewhere but it’s not to me when I’m paying you for your time. She understands that when you come in to have your hair done or whatever it’s the pamper you’re paying extra for, not actually getting your hair done which is what so many other asian salons treat you like. They see getting whatever done as a practicality not as something where you’re taking a bit of time away to do. Unfortunately none of her staff (and I’ve been treated by quite a few other staff there) act the same way. Squeezing people in who don’t have appointments is fine if you have free time slots. It is not fine when I who made my appointment 3weeks ago am made to wait. And then when I am seen its not by the person I want, without so much as an apology for the wait or change of beautician. I’ve become used to this, I’ve come to even expect it. What does it say about you if your customers expect crap treatment? I’ve had it and I’m done. I’m going elsewhere and without apology.
crew involved I knew I’d be in for another treat, there’s no way they wouldn’t be able to pull it off. And boy did they ever. (Well with Christopher Nolan – Mr Memento, Prestige and Batman Begins behind it what did I really expect?)
